Having a baby?

I do not claim to be a expert (on anything really) and I don't know a lot but over the last 3 years of having 2 babies I have learned TONS! Last night I was at a Thanksgiving dinner party and one of the ladies is expecting her first~without even realizing it things kept on coming to mind to share with her~things that I wish someone had shared with me.  So whether she expected it or not I shared some of the little things and big things that I have learned since becoming pregnant with my daughter a few years ago....pregnant, birth, breastfeed, pregnant again when Marley was 9 months old, birth, breastfeed (that's where I am right now:)  As I was up nursing Jonah at 3am-ish, all these 'things' came to mind...'things' that I like sharing, 'things' that I have experienced, researched and learned about thru accident, some on purpose.  I decided I would write a post that encompassed these 'things'~and maybe help, give insight, or just some seeds for thought for those that are in baby mode in some way, shape or form.  Again, these are just 'things' I have learned and experiences (just like pregnancies, births, and babies) are all SO VASTLY different :)  So in no-particular order here are some 'things' you might find useful (or not lol)!

THE TESTERS!

1.  My experience with a Midwife was phenomenal.  The holistic care, the mastery of pregnancy, labour and birth, the availability to help and answer questions, the support ~ everything involved expected and unexpected.  If you read previous posts my experience with my doctors was not a positive one and long story short my c-section (Marley) was a result of impatience on the doctors part as I am a slow labourer.  Decided when I was pregnant with Jonah to go with a midwife and luckily I got in ~ the appointments were more personal, didn't feel rushed, all questions answered and things I would never even think to ask brought to my attention.  Jonah took a while to arrive (close to 21 hours from when labour started) and my midwife guided me thru all the tough times to make my hope of a natural birth a reality.  Positions, techniques, and everything else involved really made the difference.  So my hope is that you do your research and learn as much as you can about your OPTIONS ~ obviously when a baby needs to be delivered via c-section in a medical emergency your options are limited and key is to get baby out healthy and safe while keeping mama safe too.  But there is and has been the scenario where doctors are impatient and take that route for whatever reason (though it is not a medical emergency as in my case).  Being in labour for the first time without much support (doctors and nurses are in and out not really there to help you with techniques and positions though I am sure some try and help a lot), we were scared when the doctor came in and said "If you don't progress this much in the next hour we are going to have to do a c-section" you are even more scared and of course that is not going to help you relax and work with your body ~ you are tense and don't know what to do.  For sure not saying all doctors are bad and all midwives are amazing but I think you really need to be on the same philosophy/beliefs/practices as your care provider.  I also HIGHLY disagree with the fact that here at my city hospital you get whomever is on-call and that chances of getting your actual doctor are low so all the birth plans, knowing your beliefs, situations, etc. really goes out the window.  If your doctor was for sure the one to deliver your baby then things that happened to me may not happen as much.
For my family a midwife was the way to go.  A birthing centre or at home would have be the next step (if I wasn't a high risk birth due to being a VBAC patient).  The labour and birth of your child is one of the most amazing experiences of your life and I think every measure needs to be taken to get the BEST care possible ~ to me that means respecting a woman's wants and needs regarding natural birth (if there is no medical reason for c-section of course).  I loved delivering my son though yes it was the toughest thing I have had to do in my life and took every ounce of my strength but once he was out and they put him on my chest and it was pure euphoria.  My bond with Jonah was so immediate (whereas I didn't get to really hold Marley or see her until I unfroze a couple hours after c-section).  So bonding was stronger off from the start, breastfeeding was easier, recovery was extremely fast (went to the fair 5 days after Joe was born!), post-partum blues were minimal ~ I was just happier overall and in turn was a better mama when times were stressful.  And Jonah seemed to be just a calmer, peaceful, chill baby and I believe it has to due with how he came into this world ~ out of mom and onto mom.  It is already a traumatic CRAZY experience for a baby and if you can show baby you are there I think it makes the transition so much easier.  Again, if you have go with a c-section for a medical reason ~ different story ~ obviously making sure baby and mommy are safe and ok is key.
If you can not get a midwife (because they book up SO fast) I really encourage a doula ~ just having that support person to help with making decisions are such an overwhelming time would be so helpful!

Ok that ended up being a long #1 point LOL ~ let's get down to the little things!

2.  Read INA MAY'S GUIDE TO CHILDBIRTH
http://www.amazon.ca/Ina-Mays-Guide-Childbirth-Material/dp/0553381156and check out her website http://inamay.com

Lots of great stories, explanations, tips ~ you name it.  Really can help you make informed decisions and also great tips for labouring and birth.

3.  Read THE HAPPIEST BABY ON THE BLOCK by Harvey Karp  http://www.amazon.ca/Happiest-Baby-Block-Harvey-Karp/dp/0553381466
Here's a little more info summarized on Baby Center http://www.babycenter.com/0_harvey-karps-happiest-baby-method-for-baby-sleep-and-soothin_10373838.bc

Either way this is BY FAR THE MOST USEFUL BABY BOOK I HAVE EVER READ!  It truly works ~ Marley and Jonah are 5 S's babies all the way!  DO IT AND THANK HARVEY FOR IT!

I know the Baby Whisperer is another good one and gives lots of good tips but Harvey Karp's book was better at giving straight up HOW TO and that's what a mama needs!  Read both and take what you like the best from both and what works for your babe:)

4.  Best stroller: BOB http://www.bobgear.com/strollers  This was the only thing other than cloth diapers that I bought new when Marley was around 6 months old.  I LOVE this stroller ~ it is light, practical, so easy to turn and use, goes anywhere in any type of weather and terrain.  Best purchase for sure.  You can get them used too so if the price tag is a little steep then go that route but really a crappy stroller is a pain in the butt.  I started with a Graco which was fine but found it heavy and didn't go where I wanted to go.  Seriously a good stroller gets you outside which is important and baby is happier too:)

5.  Cloth Diapers:  I started using cloth with my first when she was around 5-6 months old ~ I used Bum Genius ~ mainly Flips and some all-in-ones.  I have a variety of types and brands depending on what I could get for a great deal.  Flips worked best for my daughter but the all-in-ones worked best for my son (he would pee thru the flips super fast).  Either way it did save us money for sure but with both kids I stopped around 11-12 months because they would both pee thru whichever one no matter how many inserts I used.  I used them sporadically with Jonah ~ mainly if I know I can be on top of changing him often and I do have some Bum Genius Flip potty trainer ones too that I used with Marley ~ she was a quick potty trainer so never got used a lot but I will try them with Jonah when he is at that stage.  http://www.flipdiapers.com Something I learned while getting into cloth diapers is the expensive cloth diaper laundry soap is the same as COUNTRY SAVE http://www.countrysave.com  Buy it at London Drugs ~ I still use it!  A good site about how to wash cloth diapers is http://www.zany-zebra.com/wash-cloth-diapers.shtml.  This is an email I have sent to any friends that ask about doing cloth diapers:

"So we use bumGenius Flip diapers-they are a hybrid which means you don't have to wash whole diaper(like all in ones) - you just wash insert and cover when soiled(I wipe the inside of the cover after I wipe marley when it is just pee). We have a system of 30 diapers- you can get these ones in a box to save money so you get 2 covers, 6 inserts per box - a box is $55 ---- we bought 4 boxes of that then one box of the organic cotton inserts(better absorbency for night) which is $75 again 2 covers and 6 inserts. 

We also got a diaper sprayer, a pack of disposable inserts(haven't used them yet) and 2 wet bags(later I bought 2 more - large to hang off of change table and a travel size for diaper bag-these are waterproof, no smell,etc. Bummis and planet wise are great!- buy online you can get them cheaper!  )

So this is the jist:

1. 4 boxes of flip with regular inserts

2. 1 box of flip with organic insert

3. Large wet bag to hang (I don't like the pail so hanging wet bags are great) and travel wet bag (I would get 2 hanging and 2 travel)

4. Diaper sprayer(not a have too but nice to have)

5. Roll of biodegradable liners (makes dealing with poop a lot easier )

6. Rock n green detergent(best out of all cloth diaper friendly detergent- buy online can get great deals)

7. Shake it up-powder made by rock n green that you sprinkle into your wet bag keeps it smelling better

8. Pack of disposable inserts for flip diapers(not needed just nice to have in some situations)

So that makes a really complete system! There are newborn clothdiapers by bumgenius too since newborns are a bit differently shaped. They actually told me to not start cloth until baby is  a couple months old but you could if you wanted too. 

Ummm~ I will forward you a great website from cotton babies (check out the clearance/sale area!! Seconds are just diapers that had a little defect still work perfect but say the sewing was not straight things like that). I would by used online check out castanet or Kijiji or baby swap pages on Facebook. 

Don't buy G diapers!

Bumgenius, fuzzibuns, Kathy, thristies, grovia all great. 

Hybrids are better!

To wash you throw diapers and wet bag in- do cold rinse with little detergent (we have a basic washer so I just do a 3 min delicate cycle cold water)

Then take out wet bag - don't wash them in hot as you can ruin the waterproof sealing

Add detergent and wash hot, double rinse

Throw inserts and wetbags in dryer, dry on low heat 

Hang diaper covers - I put up a little clothes line in my laundry closet works like a charm!

That's it!!!!  

I sometimes use a disposable at night if I have to change marley between boob feedings as it is quick and easy. 

Flips are good from 8-35 lbs!!! Snaps are better than Velcro for longevity!

I go thru about half my stash every few days - never use them all. I make sure to rotate them around. Put the newly washed ones at the bottom of the pile type thing. 

Best to do a load every 2-3 days. Easy as pie:)

Best website to buy that I found was 

Baby bellhop out of Victoria- amazing company. Good deals. Check out clearance that would start you up for sure if you wanted to buy new. Detergent, wet bags, accessories, everything there is good deal. Free shipping when spend $100. 

You can't use dryer sheets with cloth diapers as it effects absorbency. 

Same with diapers creams/ointment. If you need something for little bum rash use grovia magic stick and throw biodegradable liner over insert. You can get it at baby bellhop:). You can also do a trial run from them. More details on their website:)

You for sure don't need to have all the same diapers so if you buy some flips and some fuzzibuns or something depending on sales, etc that's completely fine!"

6.  Skin Care:  We were/are super cautious about the ingredients in things like baby wash, lotions, etc. and have found a lot of the mainstream ones are chalked full not-so-good things.  After doing some research we found a few really yummy products and we have never had any skin issues with either baby.  A local company is AMAZING and her products are starting to get into a variety of stores ~ I go to her little shop out in Lavington but I believe Save-On might be selling her products.  Either way for baby wash and lotions (and everything in between) check out BACK TO EARTH http://backtoearthenviroproducts.com/index.php/baby-products.html/  Even things like diaper cream ~ "Sweet Pea Herbal Balm" (used to be bum balm) is fantastic ~ you can use it on bug bites, scratches, rashes, chapped skin, anything!  It is for sure my fav!  Another product that was a life saver when I was struggling with breastfeeding Marley (super painful but not mastitis just sore) is called Gentian Violet http://www.nbci.ca/index.php?option=com_content&id=73:using-gentian-violet&Itemid=17  This really helped with the pain and Marley looked pretty cool with a purple mouth:)

7.  Teething:  Your baby will teethe ~ some are fine and some are cranky.  There are a few things you can try other than Children's Tylenol:)  Both of my babies wore teething necklaces (MAKE SURE IT IS GOOD QUALITY BALTIC AMBER and not just beads) ~ It seemed to work for Jonah, whereas it didn't make much of a noticeable difference for Marley.  Hylands teething tablets (you can buy them from Nature's Fare here in Vernon) seemed to help too.  I also liked using homeopathic products from Boiron like Camila (for teething) http://boiron.ca/en/products/children/camilia/
For sure if you buy an amber teething necklace get it from one of the baby steal sites listed below and pay a third of what you would if you went to a store:)

8.  Swaddling:  Both of my babies were swaddled and it seemed to help A LOT!  But when Jonah was new I came across the most amazing MUSLIN BLANKETS at Chicken Little here in town.  They are fantastic blankets ~ not heavy or bulky.  One of the makers is Aden&Anais http://www.adenandanais.com/shop/swaddles.aspx
The blankets are so nice and big you can actually swaddle your baby effectively.  I used 2 because Jonah always seemed to break free from the first layer but was stuck at the second.  I also really like using them as a little blanket in the summer or a stroller/carseat cover to keep out the elements.  I can see myself using them for years:)  Very cute designs to and the more you wash them the softer they become! Another item a friend passed on to me was the WOOMBIE ~ ain't no breaking free from thisn puppy!  It was really handy when you had to do a quick swaddle. http://www.woombie.com/the_original_woombie.html

9.  Gear:  If you ever need to buy ANYTHING for your baby you must check out the facebook selling groups, baby deal sites and the giant Kids Garage Sale (held at the rec center in Spring and Fall) ~ if you don't live in Vernon, check and see if your city holds something similar ~ LOTS of great deals to be had.
Here are a list of BABY DEAL SITES(your husband is going to hate me hahaha):

1. Baby Half Off http://babyhalfoff.com
2. Baby Steals (also linked to Kid Steals and She Steals) http://baby.steals.com
3. Baby Heist http://www.babyheist.com/category_1/Heist-of-the-Day.htm
4. True Cuddles http://www.truecuddles.ca
5. Bundles and Buzz http://www.bundlesandbuzz.com
6. Mama Bargains http://www.mamabargains.com
7. Baby Cheapskate http://www.babycheapskate.com
8. Sweet Baby Deals http://www.sweetbabydealz.com
9. Mamas Retreat http://www.mamasretreat.com
10. Mom n Tot Deals http://www.momntotdeals.com

**By far Baby Steals has the best deals more often than the others and check the ARCHIVE (esp around Christmas ~ they do big sales on things that on sale already and sometimes free shipping)

SHOPS (Local to Vernon BC Canada)

1. Second Street Children's Store (Vernon) ~ bought my Bob Stroller and accessories there ~ lots of good consignment items as well:)
2. TJ's Kiddies Store (Kelowna) ~ great prices esp. on floor display items ~ I bought the floor display model of my daughter's nightstand there reg. $125.00 Got it for $20 because it had a little chip out of the back corner!  For sure the best prices around, amazing selection!
3. Baby & Me (Kelowna) ~ awesome selection and they have some good sales too!  Lots of furniture and uniques things.  All the top quality brands.  Great place to buy your swaddling blankets too:) 

FACEBOOK SALE PAGES/GROUPS (Local to Vernon BC Canada):

1. Vernon & Area Buy'n Sell, Swap, Trade, Give Away
2. Vernon Kid Swap Buy/Sell
3. Vernon & Area Buy & Sell Children's Items
4. Vernon Parents Swap & Shop
5. Vernon and Area Buy & Sell Everything
6. Kelowna Parent's Buy and Sell

BEST BABY BUMP AND BABY AND FAMILY PHOTOGRAPHER IN VERNON IS BY FAR Image Studios ~ Caylee Secretan and Fiona Forshaw!!!  Seriously go to their Facebook pages and LIKE them ~ they are soooo good and they do lots of giveaways and deals:)  LOVE THEM!!

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Image-Studios/228528600617859

https://www.facebook.com/CayleeSecretan.Photography

OTHER ITEMS I LOVED:)

1. Guzzie & Guss Highchair ~ we love wooden stuff and it was a great price (bought it at TJ's)http://www.guzzieandguss.com/buffet-highchair-p-99.html  You can also buy a seat cushion in a variety of colours and designs:)
2. Bumbo with the tray ~ buy this used for sure though ~ super handy with both of my babies ~ Marley liked it more though.
3. Dream Screen by Lamaze ~ I don't think they make or sell this product anymore but I bought this at the big kids garage sale.  Both my kids loved this once they turned one-ish.  http://www.amazon.com/Lamaze-LC27104-Dream-Screen/dp/B000I2Q09A
4. Sleep Sheep ~ I think ours has been used at least 90% of the time when putting our kids to bed.  I love the whale sounds:) http://www.sleepsheepandfriends.com/sheep.html
5. Robeez Shoes ~ these are the best!  They are easy to get on and they stay on! Never buy from a store ~ buy from their website ~ they are always having big sales and they are shipped really fast!  LOVE THESE! http://www.myrobeez.ca
6. Padraig Slippers ~ these are awesome too!  Easy to get on and Jonah loves his! http://www.padraigcottage.com/m-55-padraig.aspx
7. Carriers ~ it really depends on the baby and you.  Both mine have used a few different ones and like them just fine.  Ergo, Bjorn, Cuddly Wrap.
8. 4MOMS Mamaroo ~ this is the holy grail of automatic bouncy chairs ~ huge life saver when Jonah needed constant movement for those hard nights:) http://www.4moms.com/mamaroo  I also borrowed a friends swing which was a huge help and we also had a bouncy chair that you push with your foot.  All handy ~ you need a place to put baby down sometimes.  Really you only use these special items for a short amount of time so if you can get them used or just borrow them that is the way to go:)

So I think that covers most of it ~ of course I will go to sleep tonight and think of something else but these are the main ones:)  Hopefully it will help make your search for things easier and you will find some great deals.  If there is ever a product you want to research or compare Baby Gizmo.com on youtube do great and honest reviews.  Of course every mom has things to share from her experience too so ask them too:)  Enjoy the deal sites!